Beauty From Ashes
The drama continued yesterday, though it got better once I separated all of the kids, including Josh, our neighbor who was here for the day. He went home, and my three were asked to stay in separate rooms for a while. Still, once together again the tension was still there.
Jeff let us get halfway through dinner then began to ask the kids about what all had happened during the day. He let them each have their say about all of it and then talked to them about attitudes and the way they approach one another...the results of their actions. Then, he sent them to bed after dinner, which I have never seen him do before. He told them not to watch TV or even read because he wanted them to think about the day and what could have been done differently. Both of us went to each one of their rooms and talked to them individually. By the time they fell asleep, I felt like we had peace in the house for the first time all day. I felt like all of the walls had come down between the kids and between the kids and me.
I feel terrible when Jeff comes home to unresolved issues in the house. He works so hard, and while he sometimes calls to vent when he has a bad day, it is his responsibility to work through his problems. I try to do the same here. It is my job to keep things running smoothly here while he is gone. Most of the time, he never even knows when there are problems. However, there are times when it just takes the five of us sitting down as a family. I am so thankful for Jeff's leadership role in our family. He is able to stay so calm through everything and pull us all together.
It was so amazing to me that I could feel the way I did when I went to bed last night. I just loved them so much and felt so close to them. The day could have easily continued in the direction that it was going, causing us to end it with bitterness and anger. However, from the fertile ashes of the day, peace was conceived. I wish I could have created it on my own, but this time it took Jeff and me working together, as a team.....it took the five of us working together...
As a family.
Jeff let us get halfway through dinner then began to ask the kids about what all had happened during the day. He let them each have their say about all of it and then talked to them about attitudes and the way they approach one another...the results of their actions. Then, he sent them to bed after dinner, which I have never seen him do before. He told them not to watch TV or even read because he wanted them to think about the day and what could have been done differently. Both of us went to each one of their rooms and talked to them individually. By the time they fell asleep, I felt like we had peace in the house for the first time all day. I felt like all of the walls had come down between the kids and between the kids and me.
I feel terrible when Jeff comes home to unresolved issues in the house. He works so hard, and while he sometimes calls to vent when he has a bad day, it is his responsibility to work through his problems. I try to do the same here. It is my job to keep things running smoothly here while he is gone. Most of the time, he never even knows when there are problems. However, there are times when it just takes the five of us sitting down as a family. I am so thankful for Jeff's leadership role in our family. He is able to stay so calm through everything and pull us all together.
It was so amazing to me that I could feel the way I did when I went to bed last night. I just loved them so much and felt so close to them. The day could have easily continued in the direction that it was going, causing us to end it with bitterness and anger. However, from the fertile ashes of the day, peace was conceived. I wish I could have created it on my own, but this time it took Jeff and me working together, as a team.....it took the five of us working together...
As a family.
posted by Sherri | Saturday, July 14, 2007
2 Comments:
Sherri, we all have those days! That is so awesome that you have a supportive husband that takes on that leadership role so well. I am the same way about trying to handle things on my own while Doug is working, but I try to remind myself that we are ONE unit and we each have our contribution to this family. It works out better when we solve the issues together. I'm so glad that you had that peace. Isn't it an awesome feeling?
Yes, it is an awsome feeling.
We all went out to eat today then shopping for some things we needed for the pool. We just spent a day hanging out together...it was a good one. We talked a little about yesterday...was even able to laugh some today about it. They are learning to monitor themselves when it comes to their tone of voice with each other. We'll see how it goes.
Thanks for the note!
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