Before I Was A Mother

Before I was a Mother
I was a wife
Jeff and I had full hearts
And a lot of empty rooms in our home
Rooms waiting to be filled
With the rest of our family
Before I was a wife
I was a student
Struggling through college
Always looking ahead to the day when I would become
Someone besides a student
Forever feeling the need to find that other half of myself
Always afraid that I wouldn't
Living and loving the freedom of youth
Embracing it while, at the same time,
Longing to let it go
Before I was a student
I was a sister
I was a daughter
I was part of another lifetime that is gone
Yet is because I remember it
I was my sisters' playmate as we made playhouses in cotton trailers and cotton fields
Had tea parties under the mamosa trees and learned to swim in our pond
I was one of Daddy's little girls
I was called in for dinner every night by my Mother....my Mother
Now
I am all of these things
I am as much a part of my past as I am my present
My sisters' playmate still lives inside of me
My Mother still calls to me, though I can't yet go to her
I am still a student because I continue to learn
I did become, but didn't quit becoming
The world goes on around Jeff and me
But there is still the two of us
Our hearts are even fuller as we are surrounded by
The rest of our family
I am a Mother
I am the Mother who is now calling to my children
I call to them daily while at the same time
I am teaching them to find their own way
Before they become anything else, they are our children
We are their past, and we are their present
Before anything else